An attitude of kindness

‘Kindness is an overused concept, a fellow coach supervisor said.

I’d just mentioned that the world could do with more kindness.   His answer provoked my thinking. What does it mean to be kind?  What happens if we deliberately develop the habit of kindness?

The Cambridge Dictionary defines kindness as a quality of being generous, helpful and caring towards others.  Kindness shows up in small individual moments like a simple smile from a stranger to enormous demonstrations, such as people who work selflessly to enable better lives for the many.    Acts of kindness, whatever size, are the ‘oil in the cogs’ that makes life and society  more enjoyable.

What motivates us to be kind?  For many it’s an underlying inner value which shapes outer attitudes and behaviours.  As we pause and reflect on it, we bring it more clearly into our awareness. It’s as if we’ve turned our camera lens to the ‘kindness setting’ and suddenly we can find kindness in so many unexpected solutions. It’s like shifting from a black and white movie to one in colour.

How do we develop this life-affirming habit of being kind, and noticing kindness? As with any new habit we have to be willing to give it a go and stick with it before judging if it is ‘working’ or not.  Creating a structure can keep it at the front of mind.  For example, a reminder in your calendar or the commitment to regular journalling.  If you get specific, such as   writing down three kindnesses you’ve received and three you’ve given, you frame the habit, keeping it manageable.

‘Kindness spotting’ comes up periodically in my coaching and facilitation work.  Clients share that by developing this approach they notice a greater satisfaction with life in general, and feel more balanced, grounded and less stressed.  They notice being more present, attending to what is happening in the moment, rather than being distracted by future scenarios.  Their team and peers say that they are more approachable.

At a time of growing future-related anxiety, building our attitude of kindness is a pathway to

·       building our inner strength,

·       strengthening our self-awareness,

·       staying more grounded

·       being grateful for all the good there is already around us and in other people.

It is incredible how it smooths relationships, reducing potential challenges.  And all the while makes being at work more enjoyable. 

As we build this attitude, we also might want to reflect on how kind we are towards ourselves.